I see it coming, the month of September. Why do I hold my breath when I reach to turn the calendar forward to the next page? I think it’s because September is a lot like my storage closet under the stairs. If I could open it slowly, one day at a time, I could breathe easily. Instead, the next four months will tumble out like a giant Tsunami. School, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, music lessons, gym programs, soccer sign-ups. Enough to make one feel like you’re treading water for dear life!
My trips to the grocery store leave me in a blurred state of confusion. I pass scarecrows and skeletons in one aisle, nativity scenes and Christmas trees in the next. I’m wearing shorts as it’s still thirty degrees outside and my shopping list still includes my favourite summer salads and barbecue items. It takes great focus to remain in the present and not succumb to far-sighted marketing schemes.
In order to survive this demanding season, let’s go back to school! Yes, right back to the beginning, Grade 1 for me. We worked in our little scribblers, as they were called back then. The top portion of the page was blank, and the bottom part was lined. On either side of the page were red ink margins. As we learned basic printing, the teacher enforced over and over again the importance of the margins. Containing our attempts to write letters and numbers within those red lines, made it much easier for the teacher to determine our skill level and where we required more instruction.
Thankfully, I began my early school years just as the practice of restraining left-handed children was fading from the classroom. This was a great relief for my parents as I was the only one of five children who functioned totally with my left hand. Imagine forcing a child to use their right hand when their entire neurological nature is to use the left? How was one to stay in the margins when forced to use a completely unnatural manner?
To say there is a strong resemblance between this practice and life after traumatic brain injury would indeed be an understatement! Yet, many of us have found ourselves there trying to navigate day-to-day life with cognitive and physical deficits. The insistence that we must carry on with our former busy lives has us desperately scribbling in the margins with no one understanding who we really are!
Let’s go back to school again – this time to neurological rehabilitation post injury. Here I learned that I needed to break my day into manageable portions. For myself, two-hour blocks were the extent of my ability to function or focus. After that, rest was mandatory! Establishing my daily activities in these time blocks brought more clarity. It’s much like a recipe card; clearly marked directions in chronological order.
We’re a decade plus down the road now but I still rely on this principle of margins. When I find myself overwhelmed it’s often because I have extended past and beyond my capabilities, scribbling chaotically in the margins of my day rather than adhering to those very healthy boundaries that restore my well-being.
In 1965, The Brothers Four came out with a record topping hit called Try to Remember. The lyrics of the first verse read as follows:
Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green, and grain was yellow
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow
Try to remember and if you remember
Then follow, follow.
When we turn our calendar page to the month of September, let’s focus on exactly where we’re at. No, it’s not Halloween, it’s not Christmas. The words of this song may be sixty years old but the message bears repeating: “when life was slow and oh, so mellow”.
Perhaps it’s a season to “go back to school” and learn the importance of keeping margins. Whatever your life classroom looks like this September, I’m wishing you top marks in all your efforts!
